I HATE to admit it but I am not much of a relationship person. Eww, that was difficult to write. I really didn’t realize it until finishing The Shack. I guess everyone will take some different from reading that book. Building relationships is *one* of the things that spoke to me from The Shack.
I have come to realize that I absorb myself in my work. Leaving little time for my family, let alone friends, and worst of all leaving no time for me to spend with my God. I can no longer blame it on my work. Sure, my income is used to help make our finances run smoothly. But, is it worth the sacrifice of my relationships?
I have found a whole new love for my savior after reading this book. I found myself longing to have the relationship that the main character shares with God throughout the story. It’s simple, stop what you are doing and TAKE TIME. I know, I know, there aren’t enough hours in the day as it is. But, relationships are far more important. As I finished the book last night I reflected on the earthly relationships I have been blessed with. I found that God has placed people in my life for a season, others for longer. And yet others, I believe he placed in my life to see if I would take the time to care for the relationships so that they may grow and mature into long lasting friendships. I have met a few friends who I have become so close to in only a short time, yet, I allowed my *schedule* to consume me. I do believe some of those friends have now given up on me. Not there fault, but mine. Please understand I am not trying to have a pity party. I just have come to realize that life is passing before me, I will be 32 next Wednesday (by all means that is not old, but when the heck did I start living IN my 30s?). I have a wonderful family whom I love and cherish. But, I do believe that I need to make more time for friends. We all need friends in our life. I am thankful for the ones I have, the ones I speak to almost daily (even if it’s only by im ) and those I’ve lost touch with.
Most importantly, it’s time I start building a relationship with my God. All He asks for is my time. The great thing about spending time with him is it’s not about doing. It’s about learning WHO he is. By ACCEPTING his love for me. By realizing that he is a friend who (even though he already knows) WANTS to hear how my day is going, WANTS me to share the exciting things that happen, WANTS me to bring my cares to him and cry on his shoulder. Great friends are ONLY a glimpse of what His relationship offers.
While on the subject of being transparent, let me share a little more about me. In addition to my fears mentioned previously (which were totally yelled out at me in “The Shack” this morning; Thank you, Lord for reminding me that you are right here with me.) in the past I have had a huge fear of being accepted or should I say rejected. I have worried about whether people will like me, what if I say the wrong thing, what if I offend someone. What if…? What if…? What if….? This is something that is being worked out in me( thanks to Jesus and a little help from my friend T.J. who doesn’t know it but has shown me that you can’t worry about such things. Guess that’s why I like hanging out with her so much.) Until last night and this morning. After writing what I did on my blog last night, I feared that I may offend someone. What would people think? What if they thought I was being pushy? What if I came off too strong or someone felt I was “pushing” my *religion* on them? What if they thought I was CRAZY? (Well, I am a bit crazy, just not crazy in the head. HA!) But, I will make no apologies for the truth. I stand on what I wrote. And although I still feel those little bits of worry creeping up on me, I remind myself that these things need to be shared. The love of Christ is something that shouldn’t be tucked away in my heart for only me.
It’s amazing how God can use a video, a song, to get my attention, to confirm that the utterings of my heart are in line with HIS purpose for my life.
This morning in church they played the video below. I’ve heard the song, never really paid attention to the words, and have never watched the video.
Lately I have been questioning my purpose. I mean we were all put on this earth for a purpose. That purpose: to have fellowship with God. Well, thanks to Adam and Eve and their little “Garden of Eden incident” a little thing called SIN entered in and caused a huge separation between us and God. I’ve tried really hard to do good things, to help people, I really feel like I am a *good* person.
But the Bible tells me that doing good is not how it works. We can’t get to heaven by doing good deeds. Sin can NOT be removed by me being a good person and doing nice things for people.
So, thinking about the term *good*, what is *good*? Well, based on the ten commandments I really am not that good. I have lied before, sure little white lies but lies nonetheless. I hate to admit it but as a kid, I took something that didn’t belong to me. So, that would make me a lying thief. Okay, that’s 2 out of 10 commandments that I’ve already broken. If God judges me by those standards on the day of judgement I would be guilty.
So let’s say I am in court because I stole something from Walmart. The judge says, “Rachel, what do you have to say before I pass judgment.” and I say, “Judge, I am really sorry, I didn’t mean to do it, please forgive me.”
If he’s a good judge, he is not going to let me go.
What’s all of this mean?
Well, God is a good judge, so if I just say “God, I lied and stole but I want you to forgive me and let me go.” God, being a good judge, can’t let me go. He’s going to make sure that I receive the punishment I deserve for the crime. The bible says all liars have their place in the lake of fire. No thief, no adulterer (by the way, the Bible also says that anyone who LOOKS on a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart) can enter the kingdom of heaven.
So, we are all going to die one day. We are all going to stand before God on judgement day. If God treats me according to my sins I am going to go to hell because God is good and he said he will punish murderers, rapists, liars, thieves, adulterers, and that’s me.
BUT, he made a way for me to be forgiven because he LOVES me.
So, back to the courtroom scene. I am standing before the judge, guilty, and he says, “Rachel, can you pay your fine, it’s $25,000.” I say, “No, I don’t have the money.” My fate: prison. Then someone I don’t know walks into the courtroom. They have sold everything they have, hand the money to the judge and say, “This is for Rachel, she’s my friend and I love her.”
The bible says that’s what God did for all of us 2000 years ago when he came down to earth became a man, died on a cross (the most humiliating death) to pay for our sin. We broke the law, He paid the price.
The bible says that if we repent and turn from our sin, once and for all, and put our faith in Jesus, trust in him with our whole heart, HE WILL forgive us of our sins. He will give us what we don’t deserve: heaven and a clean heart.
Why am I talking “all deep?” Some events that have happened in my life, in friend’s lives, and in aquaintance’s lives lately have made me take my life and the lives of others a little more seriously. Our life is just a vapor/a mist here on this earth, here one day, not guaranteed our next breath. I HATE the thought of death, those of you who know me well, know I hate talking about it, I hate thinking about it, it scares me. The thought of leaving my family or them leaving me rocks me to my core (even though I know where I am going when my life here on earth ends.) However, in the months that have passed I have realized that what I should be fearing more is for those out there who’s numbers are getting shorter (please watch video to understand the “numbers” comment). Those who don’t know what is on the other side of death’s door waiting for them. Seriously, I am not trying to sound morbid here, I am a children’s photographer and I love to capture LIFE and LAUGHTER, to be like a kid. I am a wedding photographer who loves to capture LOVE and fun…again hate this whole death thing….but it’s inevitable and I want to be sure that people know how they can KNOW that if they died today, where they would be spending eternity.
P.S. A big thank you to ALL of you who suggested I read, “The Shack.” I picked it up at Walmart today. Oh my goodness!! I love it.
I am halfway through it. I was a little mad at all of you at first, especially since most of you know my little (or should I say BIG) anxiety I shared in a post below. I threatened to put it down a few times. Let me be transparent for a moment. When I read of these tragedies, I often wonder (more like worry) that God is preparing me to go through something like this. So, I try to cover my eyes, my ears, my mind and often miss out on the lesson. I knew I need to push through those chapters. When I reached chapter 5, I felt an overwhelming closeness and understanding. You guys (and gals) were right. Thanks for the recommendation. I am not much of a reader, but I can’t put this one down. Must get back upstairs to Chapter 8.
Thursday, September 25, 2008 Posted in Uncategorized
I *met* Mr. L while he was still tucked away in his mama’s womb. I had the honor of photographing him when he was first born and now 6 months later. MAN, time flies! He is just as sweet and cute as can be.
We had a blast shooting at Cypress Gardens. We had the park to ourselves….well somewhat. We did get caught in a sprinkler trap. Who knew they could have so many sprinklers in one area? Remember that arcade game, Frogger? Yeah, well I felt like I was in it as we we rode in the golf cart waiting for one sprinkler to pass so we could dodge through before getting wet. And guess what, we got wet! Actually, it was a nice relief for me from the heat!
D, S, and L, thank you for an awesome session. I can’t wait for the next one. L is so precious and has grown so much. Before I know it, he will be running from me!
I’ll be in touch soon with your slideshow.
) and those I’ve lost touch with. 
